Navigating the Fine Line of Helping: Sort Not Sell

Introduction: The Fine Line in Helping

Sometimes we want to help people more than they want to be helped.

That's a problem. Why? Because there's a disconnect, a misalignment, and differing expectations.
You want them to be here. They want to be there.

This disconnect creates a gap. Our objective is to close the gap.
To close the gap, offer a helping hand both figuratively and sometimes, literally.

The Sustainable Approach: Closing Gaps over Building Bridges

Don't 'grab' the person and pick them up.
Actually, you can do that, but it will just create a bridge. The gap will still exist.
Eventually, the bridge might collapse when they say, "Enough!"
All of a sudden the bottom of the gap comes racing toward you as the two of you fall from a failed bridge.

Instead, they must grab your outstretched hand to heal the gap.
When the other person grabs your hand, it aligns expectations. Spoken or unspoken, you say, "I want to help you," and the other person says, "I want your help."
Does the gap close instantly? Usually not. The two of you work together to close the gap over time. Instead of building a bridge that needs repairs and maintenance to overcome the constant force of gravity (aka business and life), you can build a foundation that needs little to no repairs or maintenance.

What do we do if someone does not want to grab our outstretched hand? This may sound harsh -- leave them.
It's not leave them for good, it's leave them for now. There's a chance you come back and hold out your hand again. At that time, they may grab your hand.
Or, someone else may come along that's better able to serve them. We must be patient with a touch of persistence. 

Why does the person needing help ultimately grab your hand? They have some amount of belief you can help them.
Largely, this is proof that you've done what they need help with. Or, someone else has told them you can do what they need help with.
The analogy I like to think of here is the light we shine. Light has an attractive (and repulsive) quality. Your light will attract (and repel) certain individuals. The light you exude is a result of all the things you think, say, and do.

Business Application: Attraction Through Authenticity

Let me apply this to business. You are trying to get new clients. Now, think of selling as helping. Do you try to sell or persuade potential clients to join you? Hopefully not much, if at all. Remember, this would be like grabbing them and picking them up. It's going to build a bridge, not close the gap. You have to maintain that bridge by 're-selling' or reassuring them they're on the right path. This takes time and resources. You're constantly fighting against the gravity in the gap pulling you down.

Instead, shine your light. Take action and don't be afraid to stand for things. This allows your light to shine brighter. People will move toward your light (and some will move away). At that point, all you have to do is hold out your hand. When they grab it, there's little to no gap. They believe in you. All you have to do is deliver.

For me, this whole concept applied to our business example is:

I'm not selling, I'm sorting.

Conclusion: Effective Strategies for Client Engagement

There weren't a lot of tactics in this post, but I want you to have this visual in mind. Please think about how this analogy could be translated into your overall business strategies, specifically around marketing and sales. Let me attempt to sum it up:

1. Sort potential clients by shining your light. Consider this as your marketing strategy.
2. Hold out your hand and see if they grab it. Do not grab people and pick them up. Consider this as your sales strategy.
3. Deliver on what they expect you to help them with. This causes your light to shine brighter. Consider this your client fulfillment strategy with a little bit of marketing.

If you do pick up people against their will or with a lot of hesitation, be prepared to mind the gap. It's not the way I want to do business. Instead, I want to help people that believe I can help them. It's my job to transfer that belief.

As always, my hand is outstretched if you need help with HubSpot and/or Zapier. Will you grab it?

Let me know what stood out to you or other ah-ha's you may have had by sending me a note or posting a comment below.